Meet the Prof

I was raised in the Texas community of Fredericksburg (somewhat of tourist trap now but a great place to grow up in the 60’s). I attended St. Mary’s Catholic School for 12 years, graduating in 1967 in the middle of Vietnam war era.

Fortunately, I was allowed a student deferment and made my way to what is now known as Texas State University (formerly SWT) in San Marcos. There I fell in to becoming a biology major, studied hard and graduated four years later with high honors. But I was a “scared little kid” – not a good thing for a guy making the decision to marry at the ripe old age of only 21 (but still married after 37 years).

I had lost my father to cancer while I was only a freshman in high school. I learned rather quickly, being one of four kids, that I’d better get my act together since it seemed there were no “safety nets” in life. It was in fact, during my high school years that I think I became fairly angry with God.

After all, I had done everything I thought that my teachers and doctrine had trained me for in school and church and yet, life was full of disappointments and hardship. I responded by trusting only in myself, leaving nothing to chance . I quickly became a rather depressed young individual.

I managed to complete a Master’s Degree and despite almost debilitating anxiety, managed to leave home and family to pursue a doctorate at the University of Minnesota. There I was able to immerse myself in science.

This was not a bad time for both myself and my wife as we were able to grow and mature. But still I was a depressed kid, and life by and large was overwhelming.

After leaving Minnesota I did a short post-doctoral stint at the Medical School at the University of Miami and soon thereafter landed a job with the chemical giant, Dupont. By this time we had our first child. I was heavy into the corporate scene in Wilmington, Delaware, but I knew deep inside that I could never survive that life for a career. Just as I was about to be transferred, I accepted my current position and have been here at UNT going on 21 years.

My life now in academia suits me well, but, it is not as though the Lord hasn’t worked on me in these past 21 years. At age 40 I hit rock bottom.

Suddenly I found myself with a paralyzing herniated disc in my neck needing surgery and to top it off, my wife was pregnant. I think I finally had worked myself so hard that my body was saying “no more” and for the first time I came to the realization that if I was going to survive mentally I had to put my faith into something other than myself. I needed answers other than those I myself, the ever analytical scientist, could provide and I fell into a deep depression.

In looking back it was the people that God put into my life during this time that got me out of it (the body of Christ, if you will).

One thing God did is to make me aware of a deep love I’d always had for music. For 20 years I had stuffed this because it got in the way of work. Soon I found myself playing guitar and mandolin in a bluegrass band, cutting a CD, and interacting with so many people (again the body of Christ). I finally starting attending a local Bible-based church (catalyzed in large part by my son’s participation in a youth group there) and was soon hooked. I started attending Bible studies, reading, thinking and reflecting on the Biblical words and I can only say – I am better now. That’s not to say I don’t still worry, and I certainly still work hard, but I have less anxiety (perhaps it’s the blessed assurance)

I can remember two lines from scripture that left a mark on me. In Psalm 84, David alludes to the fact that the “Lord withholds no good thing from a man whose heart is blameless” What does that mean? It means I just want to be a good person – to honor and glorify God.

The other line (from Matthew I believe) that has impacted me is “the least that you do for your brother, you do for me”. What does that mean? It means when the Lord places individuals in need of our help and assistance in our path, in honor of his name we should help them as he does us. This has rang true for me since over the course of the past six or so years. I have found myself assisting a dear neighbor suffering from the debilitating effects of multiple sclerosis. Even in this devastating situation I’ve learned the profound effect people can have on others and what rippling effects this can have.

I can attest to the molding (often through suffering) that God does in our lives. I am not the same professor I was 15 years ago. I am more open to students, and recognize more so than ever that we are all God’s children. I love science more now than I ever have because I recognize it's great divine beauty.

To me science and faith are, as the scientist Francis Collins (director of the Human Genome Project) so aptly points out in his recent book, “The Language of God,” the great pillars of Truth. There is much to learn about God in science but also in faith if we remain open and teachable to what is laid before us.

Thanks for letting me share my story.